Despite having my own web page, I really lead a rich, full life. What with the comedy, the writing, the acting, the singing, and ok, the day job that actually pays the rent, I don't have much time to travel.

But to save you people a lot of hassle, I've put together some random notes from my virtual travels that may help you avoid the unique pitfalls of certain quirky places--BON VOYAGE!

 

Here's a description of Zimbabwe from Lonely Planet -- I think it's what they call 'mixed reviews:

Harare, with a population of over 1.6 million, is the capital and heart of the nation in nearly every respect. The city was bequeathed a distinctly European flavour..., and it continues as Zimbabwe's showpiece city and centre of commerce, with high-rise buildings...and all their attendant bustle.

Having said that, violent crime is fairly common and visitors should never walk in the city alone and should keep off the streets altogether at night unless using an official taxi.

Crime may be rampant in America, but be glad you're not in Cambodia--and if you have to go there, bring a hatchet. Here are four randomly selected news items from the Pnomh Penh Post

Apr 30: Lonh Bronh, 48, was killed by his son Bronh Pheng, 22, who bludgeoned him with a hatchet (and nothing bludgeons quite like a hatchet) at 6 pm in Talay village. The reason is the victim was sold a cow for about 450,000 riels (what a rip-off!) and then he spent all of it playing cards and drinking and didn't give any to his wife.

May 6: Ny Saron, 29, was seriously injured by Chum who bludgeoned him with (you guessed it) a hatchet at 3 pm in Svay Tep district. The reason was that Chum was very drunk. (well, that explains it).

May 8: Aoung Lonh, 32, was seriously injured by his father in-law who stabbed him twice when the offender had an argument with his wife and (oddly enough) threw a hatchet at her. The victim was caught by a relative of the father-inlaw and let the offender stab him (huh?).

Apr 27: Plong Salaun, a policeman, was killed by Chum Kny, also a policeman after an argument. After he killed the victim he threatened a monk and took him and two children hostage when police surrounded him in a pagoda. A few hours later he released them and he shot himself in the head (what, didn't he have a hatchet handy?) and burned down the monk's house (I'm guessing he set the fire before he shot himself). Nobody came to stop the fire because there were three grenades inside.

 

Here is an example of the beneficence of The Great Leader Kim Jong II, as he has given every child in the Republic a new accordion. 

Those smiles say "Thank You Great Leader, We Are Very Hungry But Are Grateful For Our Accordions!"

for a little insight and geopolitical perspective, here's a clipping from the DPRK, North Korea's official news agency

U.S. hard-line policy flailed

    Pyongyang, September 2 (KCNA) --It is foolish of the United States (great--the opening sentence of the story sounds like something from a fifties sci-fi flick--"Your feeble Earth weapons are useless against us!") to try to stifle the DPRK with its hard-line policy, says Rodong (wait--didn't Rodong lose to Mothra?) Sinmun today in a signed article. It says:
    The U.S. is working hard to isolate the DPRK under the pretext of "military threat" and "missile threat" from the DPRK and "threat" from its conventional forces after terming it "no. 1 enemy." but this is a folly (maybe so, but it's not annoying like your use of "quotation marks" ).  The Bush group is in utter ignorance of the stand, strength and will of the DPRK. (although the people's strength and will is a bit less than it used to be, what with rampant starvation, no jobs and and not a whole lot of foreign aid, you isolationist bozos)   
    In the 1990s, too, the U.S. was defeated in confrontation with the DPRK. (known to historians as The War That North Korea Imagines)
    The DPRK reacted to the U.S. frantic nuclear blackmail and war moves with a super hard-line stand. It dealt a heavy blow to the U.S. and its followers by taking such countermeasures for self-defence as withdrawing from the nuclear non-proliferation treaty and declaring a semi-war state. (very cagey--if we only declare "semi-war," they might not bomb us out of existence)
      The DPRK has become a powerful country which the U.S. dare not provoke and the U.S. lost its face before the international community. (ok--beyond the grammar problem,  you guys are kidding now, right?)
    The U.S. failed in its policy to stifle the DPRK. (damn--now I guess we'll have to go back to ignoring them)

 

lemme outta here!