Please try to make your blog much less engaging. My coworkers have been wondering where that (insert corporate obligation here: report, job, email, status, program change, power point, approval, answer, resolution) is and I don’t have it because I’m too busy reading your witty shit. If you could make it more boring (actually, the entry about the volcano movies blah blah wasn’t that interesting…more like that one), my productivity would rise. You’ve been trying to get me to come here for weeks and now that I have, my supervisor will have a word or two for you. Stand by for that.

Being of the lily-livered, bleeding heart,liberal, vegetarian disposition I set down humane traps to catch the buggers who had amassed in numbers during their late night jaunts to my food cupboard.

Most mornings I would find one or more of the little mickeys scurrying around in my traps. So then I had to worry about what to do with them. I had mice as pets when I was growing up so I needed to ensure their future survival. I did the decent thing and released them near the closest compost pile on an allotment nearby. I like to believe they are now living trouble free lives of blissful fulfillment and weren’t eaten by the nearest cat in the vicinity.

Greetings from England by the way. Loving your work!

By the way, it turns out our new neighborhood is lousy with lemurs. That’s the kind of thing they don’t tell you at closing.