Mister Comedy

I haven’t had an internet connection for a few days, and the withdrawal has been brutal. I really shouldn’t be frustrated, since my wireless connection is pirated off one of my neighbors who is actually paying for internet access (but damn you, ZWIRE972, whoever you are!). But I am now so addicted to the web (what an appropriate term that is) that I become non-functional without it. Incapable of talking with friends, unless the chat takes place inside a little box. Unable to write anything unless I can instantly send it to the entire world. If my computer ever dies, I won’t even be able to compose a sentence, because I’ve been using a keyboard for so long that I’m not sure I still remember how to form the actual letters with a pen. What’s maddening is that I have internet access for a few minutes, then I don’t. It’s there and then it’s gone. Which makes it really hard to watch porn. You can’t follow the plot (‘is she with the cable guy or the pizza guy?’).

I didn’t get a text message from Obama this week about his vp choice, and that’s fine. Don’t get me wrong, I would do almost anything to help him get elected, but on my cell plan, I would have had to pay ten cents to receive the message, and things are kinda tight right now. I did, however, get a telegram from John McCain.

I’m not sure how tech-savvy we want our president to be, truth be told. Take text messages for example. This kind of communication has simplified language so much, it’s become the digital equivalent of grunts, to say nothing of the fact that a generation has thrown spelling out the window (are the extra keystrokes required to spell ‘you’ instead of ‘u’ really THAT time-consuming?). I just think if world leaders start texting each other, international dialogue will lose a little depth.

Putin: ur missiles r 2 close 2 us imho

Obama: ab2 move them brb

Putin:  thx l8r

And what if Obama is as hooked on the web as I am. Missing cabinet meetings because he’s playing Scramble on Facebook (though it would be cool to get a message saying ‘Barack Obama has added you as a friend’ on Facebook), stopping press conferences because he needs to Google something before he can answer a question, deciding how to handle a crisis by checking Wikipedia. I just think there’s a slippery slope here, people.