sarah freakin’ palin?
I never really understood John McCain’s criticism of Barack Obama’s ‘celebrity’ status, since running for president of the United States by definition makes you a celebrity. Hard to run a national campaign for leader of the free world without a whole lot of people noticing (although Ralph Nader is trying). But even if he has a point, and for his vice-presidential choice, he wanted someone who’s not tarnished by celebrity status, shouldn’t that person at least be SOMEONE WE’VE HEARD OF? Doesn’t your choice lose some of it’s impact if all of the media reports begin with the phrase ‘Who Is Sarah Palin?’ Your VP doesn’t have to be famous, exactly, but I don’t think that person should be someone voters have to google. Jeez, in terms of name recognition he might as well have picked me.
I’m sure this wasn’t John’s idea. Karl Rove or some other RNC goon probably called him Thursday night (“Where do we reach him?” “Try him at home.” “Like that narrows it down…”) and said something like
Look, John. Obama just gave a brilliant speech that 38 million people watched. Now I know you’re leaning toward someone with solid economic credentials, and someone with a proven track record to highlight Obama’s inexperience, but we’re thinking we should go with a woman. There seems to be a lot of women in the country right now, and apparently they can vote. Pick one of them. What about that one woman in Alaska. Yeah, I know you’ve never met her, but she’s totally hot.
McCain actually acted the same as any guy would at bar closing time. The clock is running out, and he needs to hook up with a woman. And at that point in the evening, it doesn’t really matter who the woman is. Basically, he’s been set up on a political blind date, and is looking to make her his trophy vice-president. Unfortunately for McCain, the eighteen million Hillary Clinton supporters supported Hillary Clinton because they……agreed with Hillary Clinton! They’re just not likely to suddenly decide “You know, now that McCain has chosen a woman, I don’t need equal pay for equal work, or the right to decide what to do with my own body.”
I know the religious right (which is usually neither) is thrilled. Palin is in favor of teaching creationism, and in fact believes that the world created in seven days. She believes there is no evidence to prove evolution actually happened. Of course, if you look at the Republican Party, she’s right–there’s no evidence they have evolved. Ultimately, choosing Palin makes McCain seem progressive, but not because she’s a woman–he looks progressive by comparison–next to this gun-toting, drill-happy, moose-eating, homophobic fundamentalist, he suddenly looks as harmless and inoffensive as that uncle who just keeps telling the same war stories at every family reunion.
Not that I’m thrilled with the selection of Joe Biden. This is an election in which it will be critical to lock up certain parts of the country that have traditionally been Republican strongholds. Thank God we can now count on…Delaware. And since Obama’s core message is that of change, it’s good that he chose someone who has worked in Washinton for thirty-five years. But I do like the fact that he seems a bit of a loose cannon. It just feels like at some point in the next two months, some reporter at some campaign stop will ask one wrong question, and Biden will snap. That could be entertaining.
Why not bring the vice-presidency into the twenty-first century? I say, make the choice as part of a reality show on Fox.
Tonight, on the premiere of ‘America’s Next Top Running Mate,’ fifteen average people will be competing for the chance to break ties in the U.S. Senate!
As the convention hoo-ha shifts to St. Paul with four nights of people distancing themselves from W., I have to give special special award to insufferably strident filmmaker Michael Moore. For years I have felt that Moore hurts progressive more than he helps, simply by being obsessed with being Michael Moore. His shameless self-promotion and sweaty agit-prop, though usually on the right side of the issues, probably turns off more people than it converts. A few years ago, I created the Slappy Award–an award for someone who, by virtue of a particularly bone-headed and addle-brained action, should be slapped.
So Michael Moore was on Countdown with Keith Olbermann last night, and said that the timing of Hurricane Gustav’s arrival this week coinciding with the Republican National Convention was “proof that there is a God.” Really, Michael? God really works that way? By potentially destroying thousands of people’s lives in order to make a political point? You need to be slapped.
