Hey there. I’m the guy in the picture on the left. While you’re here, let me show you around the place. Across the top of the page, you’ll see some links to check out–mostly info, not a lot of funny there. But at least you can buy a hat. Oh, and I’m running for mayor.

Now under my picture you’ll see a list of topics, so go ahead and choose one. Wait, hold on a minute–don’t choose one yet.

What  you’ll want to do first is look in the top right corner and click  where it says ‘subscribe.’  That lets you subscribe to my site. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but I think it means I won’t have to pester you every time I write a new piece. I think you’ll just get an email, but for all I know a guy shows up at your house to tell you. Just click the squiggly thing.

If you’re into the tweeting thing, you can click where it says “follow me on Twitter”  to…follow me on Twitter. Oh, and if you scroll down a bit, you’ll see some of my tweets. Of course, if you’re following me on Twitter, you’ll have already read those, but hey, maybe you forgot.

I don’t really think I need to explain the search box to you. I also don’t really think I need a search box, but it came with the design. So I suppose, if you had read something here you wanted to read again (“Where was that hilarious piece he wrote about meatloaf?), and you didn’t remember what category it was in, you could type in a word or two and find a list of all the pieces that include that word. I’m pretty sure comedy shouldn’t be that much work, though.

Below the topics you’ll see a few randomly chosen older posts, but the dates are pretty irrelevant, since THIS IS NOT A BLOG. No ongoing narrative here with details of my every half-formed thought. I don’t plan on posting three paragraphs about how great my soup was at Panera Bread in the deluded belief that readers care what I had for lunch.

Bottom left is a tag cloud, or a cloud of tags, or some damned thing that’s big on the intertube right now. Something to do with words I use a lot, and you can click on the words, so there’s that.

Now lastly, let’s say you wanna tell someone about something you saw here. Well, you can Tweet me, ‘digg’ me, bookmark me, email me, ‘Stumble Upon’ me–heck, I think you can even ‘fark’ me (I should really look up what that is). I’ve got a whole row of buttons at the bottom of each piece to let you share what you read, and here’s the amazing thing–it’s all done through The Internet!

Oh, and don’t forget to leave a comment, because without your feedback, I’m just a crazy hermit writing for myself, in which case I might as well get the hoodie and shades and start working on my manifesto.